cheerleaders needed, no need to apply, no experience required!

Obviously I didn't check back in after my last post which I just checked on. It was from November 16th. that was a month ago.

I did start back to bootcamp slowly that week, but was sidelined again with more crippling headaches. I laid low, took it easy, took that Friday off and then went back again on Monday. Even without doing the run and not doing up down up down movements I still felt off.

I admitted to my bootcamp coach that I lost all my mojo and that I am so upset by how these last almost 3 months have turned out. I weighed in today only to discover that I have gained just over 6 pounds back of the 10 that I worked so hard to lose. To say that this is upsetting is a joke. I am horrified. I went for a total of one, yes ONE walk during all the time I was off, so I wan't expecting to lose any weight. but to gain 6 pounds is awful.

During this whole process the one thing that I have found out is that the sinus that is located under my left eye is completely blocked off. My doctor ordered a head CT scan in November hoping that if there was something going on in my head we would find it. Not only did we find the blocked sinus he also found something called a Meningioma, which basically is a benign calcification on the outer covering of my brain. It measures 3mm and is classified as an extremely slow growing (if it grows at all) benign (can I say that again!) BENIGN growth. This scared the CRAP out of me. I had a minor breakdown, called a friends dad who just so happens to be fantastic oncologist and then took a deep breath and realized that everything is going to be fine. My doctor told me that I had nothing to worry about but I didn't really find any comfort in his non-shalaunt brush off of finding it. Now that it has been found I will have yearly scans to confirm that it isn't growing and that it is all good. I do have to say though while I can laugh about my reaction now in the heat of the moment I was so absolutely terrified.

I went to see a Ear Nose Throat doctor who wants another CT just on the sinus so hopefully at my next visit in early January was can book my surgery to get it all fixed up. If by some chance my sinus is cleared out and it's no longer a problem I will still be having surgery to have an implant put in my nose to rebuild my septum. I don't have much of one and I need one. You have no idea how much I am hoping that between the sinus and the septum my headache problem is figured out! Everyone cross their fingers and toes that I can get a surgery date early in the year. No matter what type of surgery I have strict orders for 3 days of quiet and not a lot of moving which means no kids for 3 days. This also means me and a lot of magazines and a big comfy bed! YIPPEE!

Phew! Now that we got that out of the way...

I am sitting here to day feeling just about as crappy as I was at the end of August. I still have big goals for the new year, but first and foremost my goal for the rest of the year is to not gain any more weight! I think that this is possible. Hard, but possible. I now know that I don't have an aneurism waiting to burst in my head so the idea of working out with a headache doesn't scare me, it just sucks. I really don't know what else to do, I can't just keep sitting here.

CAlling this blog Go Leanna Go! wasn't just because I was feeling goofy on the day I picked a name. It was so that every time I logged in, saw it on my favourites list, got a comment or a email I would get a little cheer! Go! Leanna Go! So...This is where you come in people! if you see me ask me how I am doing. Help me stay accountable! Be my cheerleaders! I can't do this by myself!

oh yeah... and don't offer me any of your delicious homemade Christmas goodies!

Love ya!

p.s. I cut off my hair and got rid of the pink. It was just making me sad because my pink super  hero power feeling were gone.