down for the count

Today marks week number three of the headache and dizziness.

Today was also the day that I went back to my doctor (his fill in, he's on holidays) for the third time for the headache.

Today was the day that I got put back on my blood pressure medication.

I gave it a good solid try, I really did. I thought I had it under control, but I didn't. When my doctor checked it for the forth time today and it was still reading somewhere around 180/90 she decided that it needed to be done. Do I think my normal doctor is going to be pleased with this when I check in with him next week?... nope. I think he is going to be upset. I would say that giving my body three weeks to adjust to no meds was a good try, and I am done. He asked me last week how my mood was. I told him I was cranky. What mother of a noisy four year old that has had a headache for two weeks wouldn't be cranky? Seemed like a dumb question if you ask me.

I haven't been able to do ANY exercise. I did go for a walk, but got dizzy quite quickly and figured it might have been a bad idea to push it.

I NEVER though I would ever be the girl to say that she misses exercise, but I do. I really miss bootcamp. I really miss working out and feeling like I am doing something to change my life. I feel like I have been a big lump for weeks, and I am sad that I have lost almost a month in this dizzy state.

I did weigh in last week, but haven't posted that I gained a pound, but I am blaming the pound on my period (yes, another one since my doctor decided that I be taken off my birth control pills too.) I feel fat and bloated... blech.

I haven't weighed this week, and I am not going to. I am scared that the number is going to make me sad, and I need some positive thoughts right now. I need this headache to LEAVE. RIGHT. NOW.

I am off to check my blood pressure (again), to take advil (again) and to drink a bottle of water to see if I can feel better tomorrow.

Thanks for checking in. I am sorry for the absence. I will be back.

I will.

without struggle there is no progress

Today I am struggling.

It has been a rough week for me. Pretty much immediately after my epic Monday run, I started feeling light headed and dizzy. I went to bootcamp on Wednesday and had to stop a few times to catch myself, the dizziness was awful. Speaking of dizzy. I am dizzy right now actually. ugh...

I started taking medication for high blood pressure on September 11th 2006 after having a rapid heartbeat at work. My doctor at the time put me on a two week stress leave hoping that the time off would help me, but really it didn't do anything for me but make me not want to go back to work.

Initially my doctor was concerned because of my age and lack of hypertension on my family. I was sent to a cardiologist to check on my heart. When my heart was fine they turned their attention to my kidney's thinking that an artery must be narrowed which would explain the hypertension. When that checked out ok too, I was diagnosed with Essential hypertension, which really means I just have high blood pressure. It amazed me that through the months of tests and medications that my weight didn't come up as a possible reason for my problem. I remember asking the cardiologist on my initial visit about it and she told me that losing a few pounds wouldn't hurt, but that it might not have anything to do with it. If I did lose a few pounds and I didn't need medication anymore that would be great, but until it happened no one knew for sure.

The initial medication that I was taking was agreeing with me, but after my cardiologist found out I was trying to get pregnant with my first daughter she switched my medication to a safer one. I have been on this medication since, until this summer when I noticed that my legs were swelling and my skin was feeling so tight I though my legs were going to split open. What I was blaming on too much salt and a hot summer day my doctor was blaming on the meds that I had been taking for so long. My medication changed and I have felt "off" randomly ever since.

When I went to the doctor today to discuss my dizziness, my medication was the first thing to come up. I have complained of dizzy spells before and that is a side affect of this med, as is headaches which I have also had all week long.

My doctor did something that I always hoped would happen.

He took me off my blood pressure medication.

I am not celebrating yet, and I am being cautiously optimistic that this will last. I have to track my pressures for a couple of weeks. If It stays within range I will be ok without the meds. If it creeps up on me I have to go in and try a new medication.

I didn't react to this news in the way I had imagined I would. I thought I would be jumping up and down. I thought my doctor would be congratulating me on getting off my meds, but instead he told me that he assumed that in 3-4 days it will creep up and I will be back in his office. If I have to go back on meds even with the weight loss and exercise I think that I will be very disappointed. I know that they told me that it was Essential, but honestly I just don't buy it.

I am overweight.
I am out of shape.
I wasn't taking care of myself.

Today I ate popcorn and granola, and a jawbreaker that I found in my cup holder.

Today was a struggle, but without it there is no progress.

this is me being cautiously optimistic

yeah... i killed it!

So the first month of bootcamp ended last Friday. I asked to get my measurements done that morning, instead of Monday morning when I was going to do my fit test.

So here is what happened...

September 6 looked like this:
Pushups 23
crunches 33
lat pull downs 44
plank 2:30 (on knees)
V sit hold 1:08 (heels down)
step ups R 32  L 33
Squat holds 51
Lunges 30
1.5km run 13:20

September 30th looked like this!

Pushups 35

crunches 46

lat pull downs 65

plank 3:00 (on knees)

V sit hold 1:15 (heels down)

step ups R 33  L 35

Squat holds 1:16

Lunges 35

1.5km run 11:27!

We did the first part of our fittest under cover because it was RAINING! so gross. It was good, I was beating what I had done the first time and that made me glad.

Then came the run.

I haven't run in about 3 weeks. I hurt my right knee about a week and a half into bootcamp from over exercising and just pushing way too hard on my days off. I spent the rest of the month walking (or speed walking) to warm up and I stopped doing extra running on my days off as well. I was feeling confident. I had my brand new Adidas super shoes (they are just blue and super funky and I love them!) I stepped onto the line with the other girls and got ready.

"3...2...1... go!"

I was off... and it felt different this time. I was holding my head up. My shoulders were back and I felt a spring in my step. I was getting pounded int he face with rain and I watched as the other girls disappeared into the darkness with only their safety lights blinking. I kept my eyes ahead waiting to see the lights starting to come down the other side of the road after the turn around. I kept running and started to realize that I wasn't as far behind as I had originally thought. I was closing in on them, and I smiled. Holy shit I got faster! I smiled at the first girl that sped fast me, and wiped my face on my t-shirt. I got to the end of the road and knocked on the road sign with an audible "tang tang" and turned back.

The rain slowed and I could see my trainer waiting for me at the end.

Please, please have done it a little bit faster... just a bit... 20 seconds. Come on.

I got in front of the field and I pushed. I sped up, and I started to  R U N! 

As soon as I hit the end line she yelled "11:27!"

I stopped, bent over and took in a huge breath and let out a sob. "11:27?! what?! seriously?!"

"Yeah 11:27!"

"holy crap I beat my time by almost 2 minutes! I did it! I did it! (sob sob... tear  tear...)"

I walked back to the field shaking. I couldn't believe it, and it kept me bouncing on my toes for the rest of the day!

I called my husband at work 3 times that day to tell him how proud I was of my self. It was amazing. 

I killed that run.... I killed it!

5 weeks, 10 lbs and 7 inches

I cannot believe the results that I have seen in the last 5 weeks of this journey. I had my measurements done on Friday and I have lost 7 inches from my chest, waist, hips, right thigh and calf. Tomorrow is weigh in day and I am curious how this week has gone in that department.

The next two weeks I will be at bootcamp in the evening instead of the morning, and I am not quite sure how I feel about his yet. Life throws curve balls sometimes and you just have to roll with it. I have done a few evening workouts, and it's a little harder, but it's good.

The thing I really like about working out in the early morning is that:
1. I have my workout done first thing and I don't have to worry about it for the rest of the day. It's not one other thing I have to do.
2. The girls are still fast asleep, and they aren't missing me
3. It's dark and no one can see my flabby flab bouncing as I jog past their house.
4. Again, it's dark and no one can see my hideous workout clothes.
5. My muscles feel tight and sore for the rest of the day and for some reason that makes me feel tighter and thinner.

I went and got my hair done in celebration of my 10lb loss. I told my trainer that I am an emotional eater and it really doesn't matter if it is a happy one or a sad one, I eat to celebrate and I eat to soothe. I decided that this super feeling that I am feeling needed to be celebrated with pink. Yes, pink. I got pink streaks put in my hair and honestly I am feeling powerful, strong, untouchable and fierce. I feel like I can do anything, and I will accomplish my goals. I am feeling healthy and better than I have in a very long time. It is amazing what a little color can do for you. My friend and stylist Angela helped me feel this way and she can help you too. Check out her page on Facebook!

Here's to another amazing week!